


Always

by orphan_account



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: F/M, It's Ok in the end, Read and you'll see, Rough Sex, Smut, a little bondage at one point -ish, angsty, but it's a little dark, literal porn but there is definitely some plot, only a little, relationship trouble with JR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 02:22:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11049321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The scene was so incredibly him. His jaw tightened as he read, clenching and unclenching, creating that perfect, sculpted angle that your lips had run over countless times, the insidious memory of the taste of his salty sweat on your tongue as he panted your name in your ear, voice dark and raspy, invading your mind. Your chest constricted at the thought and you found yourself suddenly weakening, your legs slightly giving. Your slender fingers dug into the doorframe, a measly attempt to ground yourself properly. You have to do this, you told yourself. You deserve closure.“Jonghyun.” His name felt foreign on your tongue, the sound crawling out of your throat clumsily. It sliced into the serene air, any perception of peace clattering to the ground. Tears stung your eyes, but you forced them back. You needed to do this.In which Jonghyun shattered your crystalline heart 2 months ago and you come back for answers. You get a little more than what you bargained for.





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about tense change later, I wrote this in a rush and slipped up. This is my first post on AO3; I'm still figuring things out, so please bear with me! :)
> 
> Also JR may seem a little OC, but I don't doubt he has a dark side, especially after hearing his MINO - Fear rap performance. He's got something dark, no doubt.

He hadn’t noticed that you had entered the room yet. The setting sun's light spilled into the room, casting an almost crimson sheer across the interior, tinting the air in front of you with brilliant colors. Golden light glinted off of his midnight hair, which fell forward in front of his narrowed eyes as he surveyed the messy spread of paperwork in front of him. A pen dangled loosely from the corner of his mouth, moving slightly as he leaned forward to shuffle through the stack papers. His brow furrowed as he skimmed a particularly dense packet, the Pledis brandname catching your eye at the top of the page. He was the image of perfect serenity and concentration.  The scene was so incredibly him. His jaw tightened as he read, clenching and unclenching, creating that perfect, sculpted angle that your lips had run over countless times, the insidious memory of the taste of his salty sweat on your tongue as he panted your name in your ear, voice dark and raspy, invading your mind. Your chest constricted at the thought and you found yourself suddenly weakening, your legs slightly giving. Your slender fingers dug into the doorframe, a measly attempt to ground yourself properly. You have to do this, you told yourself. You deserve closure.

“Jonghyun.” His name felt foreign on your tongue, the sound crawling out of your throat clumsily. It sliced into the serene air, any perception of peace clattering to the ground. Tears stung your eyes, but you forced them back. You needed to do this.

He stiffened at his desk, recognizing it was you without having to even lift his head. His adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed with noticeable difficulty. “Y/N,” He whispered, almost inaudibly, and you couldn’t tell if he was saying it to himself or to you. Pain flashed in his eyes as he lifted his head, slowly drinking in your appearance as his gaze traveled up your body. For a second, you swore you saw a flicker of wistfulness (or was it pain?) twisting his godly features. But the emotions in his eyes were quickly buried behind a mask of ice. “What are you doing here?” His raspy voice broke slightly, a fracture in his façade.

So he was in pain too. You hoped it was in the same magnitude that you had felt it. The same pain that you had endured for the past 2 months every single night, as you wondered what you had done wrong. The same excruciating pain that you had muffled with the superficial, dulling haze of alcohol, the same pain you had felt during those long nights where you were completely alone and you swore to yourself that it would get better, that the pain would fade, but it only ever got worse. You hoped it was the same pain. Anger filled your veins, igniting your body into an inferno. “Why’d you do it?” You spat the words out, dripping with poison.

Jonghyun didn’t flinch. You hated him in that moment. His head dropped back down to his papers. “What are you talking about?” Ice cold. His words cut deep into you, leaving invisible bone deep lacerations across your body.

“You fucking asshole.” The words sounded wrong coming out of your mouth. You hated cursing, and Jonghyun knew that. You stalked over to him, blood roaring in your ears. He stood slowly from his chair, not moving as you approached.

You were less than two feet away from him, the familiar scent of his cologne invading your senses. A searing pain shot through your heart. “Why did you do it?” You repeated, but this time you were unable to maintain the same caliber of acidity and your voice gave slightly. “Why’d you stop talking to me? Why did you reject my calls, ignore my messages? Why couldn’t you have just been a man and told me that you stopped—you stopped loving me?”  You felt your resolve crumbling, heard it in your own broken voice. Jonghyun didn’t say anything, and that only further exacerbated the crushing feeling in your chest. “I hate you.” You declared, slamming a fist against his chest. “I hate you.” Again, with the other hand. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.” It was a mantra, and you slammed your small fists into his hard chest as you repeated it over and over, hoping it would mend the broken shards in your body. It was anger in your body once more, burning dangerously hot. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate y-”

Jonghyun caught your fist, his larger hand easily dominating yours and halting its motion. “Stop,” he whispered, his voice deep and raspy. He took a step forward, forcing you backwards, and kept on doing so until your back pushed against the cool surface of the plaster wall, your arm pinned above you with his chest mere inches from yours. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” He hissed , eyes dark.

You couldn’t breathe, not with him so close to you, not with his full lips so near your own. His head dropped down, face than 6 inches from yours, and he used his free hand to tilt your head back so your eyes met his. Dark and gorgeous. His jaw was clenched, neck muscle tense.

“I hate you,” you repeated, your voice hollow. Yet you were unable to stop yourself from closing the distance, unable to stop your lips from pushing against his. He stiffened momentarily in shock, his breath catching in his throat as your soft, gentle, familiar mouth caught his. Jonghyun moaned lowly against your lips as he gave into you, sending pleasant vibrations through your body. His lips, soft and pillowy but also rough in their own way, worked against yours intensely, and he pushed even closer, his hard body flush against yours. His free hand slipped underneath your blouse, grazing the sensitive spot on your hip that he knew to be your weakness after spending countless nights like this with you. Your legs gave at the touch and he shoved his thigh between your legs as he felt your legs weaken, holding you up as you melted into him. The fist that he kept pinned above you fell open and he intertwined his fingers with yours, still keeping it pinned against the cold wall. Your eyes drifted shut as you immersed yourself in him, waves of nostalgia and desire coursing through your body as fireworks burst behind your eyelids. A light moan slipped out of your lips as his thigh between your legs grazed your apex, your free hand sliding up from Jonghyun’s tight stomach to dig into his full hair, grabbing a fistful and pulling.

You broke from the kiss, gasping for air. Jonghyun’s head hung above you, his eyes closed and his chest rising and falling in heavy, aroused breaths. His head fell down into the crook of your neck. Hot breath spilled across the sensitive skin there, goosebumps erupting along the surface. “Y/N,” he rasped. His soft lips were at your throat and your eyes fluttered shut, your head falling back against the wall. You needed him. His lips ghosted the delicate skin along your throat, slowly drifting down to your collarbone, then slowly down your chest, unbuttoning your blouse as he went. Everywhere he touched became alight with heat and fire, a direct contrast to the cool air hitting your newly exposed skin. Then he was pulling your skirt off your body, ripping the delicate fabric in half, exposing your legs to the light in the room. You had chosen to not wear underwear. Jonghyun groaned lowly at the sight. “Fuck.” He muttered, his tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip. He stood suddenly, pinning you against the wall once more, his muscular thigh wedged between yours. You were growing impatient, pure desire and need threading its way through your veins and you grinded desperately against his thigh, hoping for some sort of contact to ease the intensity of the flames burning you from inside. You could feel him pressing against you and you knew he wanted this just as much as you did. His arms caged you in from both sides of your head, so it seemed there wasn’t nearly enough room in the office for the two of you. His scent was all around you, filling your lungs, your head. You were going to go crazy. He looked down at you through half-lidded eyes, dark and dangerous, and full of lust.

 Jonghyun kissed you this time. His hands slid under your shirt, along your waist. His fingertips brushed against your weak points, lips worked furiously against yours, saying all that had been unspoken for the last two months. Light moans fell uncontrollably from your mouth as his lips moved from your lips to your jawline, tracing along the white, creamy skin, and then drifting down your neck, pearl white teeth flashing and nipping at your throat.

Small gasps of pleasure escaped your mouth as your fingers worked quickly at his belt buckle, moving gracefully and quickly in a familiar pattern they had performed many times before. He shrugged off his pants quickly, pulling away from you briefly to kick them off. The skin where his heat had just been felt unnaturally and uncomfortably cold. The heat in you was becoming almost unbearable, and you had never been the patient type. His black tie hung teasingly in your sight, tight around his sensitive throat. You grabbed him by it and yanked him close, your teeth grazing his ear. “I need you. Right now.”

Jonghyun groaned throatily in response. “I’m really going to go crazy,” he said in his slow, tantalizing drawl that had captivated you so long ago, encasing you in warmth. His long fingers wrapped around your thin panties, ripping them off with ease. “You’re so wet.”  It fell out of his lips in a sigh. Without warning, he slammed three fingers into you at once, eliciting a sharp cry of surprise and pleasure that curled from your throat. Your fingers entwined themselves into his hair, grabbing it by the fistful as heat rushed downwards. He slid his fingers out slowly, tortuously slowly, his fingers coated in your juices, before slamming them back into you again. He repeated it slowly, drinking in the sight of you coming undone around his fingers. You couldn’t bear the intensity; the coil in the pit of your stomach wasn’t satiated. “Faster,” you panted in his ear, “please.” With that Jonghyun pounded his fingers in and out of you, fingers scissoring as they entered you again and again, pushing you closer and closer to your high. Screams escaped your mouth as his pace became almost unbearable, stars appearing in your vision. Jonghyun’s long fingers slid in and out of you with ease, filling you deeply, slamming into you at an unthinkable speed, but it wasn’t enough, you needed him inside of you. “Jonghyun,” you managed weakly between gasps. “I need…I need you to fuck me. Please.” You had never begged for him like this, not in the years you had been together. But now was different. You needed him on a wholly different level of lust and desire. “Please. Fuck me.”

It visibly caught him off guard, his jaw clenching and adam’s apple bobbing as he took in your words. “You have a dirty mouth,” he managed, thickly. You were lifted into the air with ease by your waist, and then you were slammed down onto the entirety of his thick length. He took the fingers that had been inside of you and placed them in your mouth, effectively muffling the shattering scream of pleasure that rocked out of you as your body struggled to take in his entire length at once. He gave you no time to adjust, despite the fact that you hadn’t been spread open this wide for two months, and a shard of pain mixed with the abyss of pleasure you felt you were drowning in. Your legs wrapped around his back, attempting to push him deeper, but he refused to move. Not even an inch. You felt the sensation of being completely filled by his long cock, but you needed more, and he still hadn’t even moved. You whined impatiently, struggling to wriggle your hips for some friction.

Jonghyun slid slowly out of you, marveling at how quickly you had coated him, pulling out until it was almost at the tip, before slamming back into you once more and eliciting a cry of pleasure from your throat. He watched the conjunction between your bodies, feeling as if he’d go insane from the feeling of you tightening desperately around him, your body trying to milk out a reaction from him. You were driving him crazy, and it was all he could do to not lose himself completely in the ethereal beauty that was you.

“Fuck me,” you had said, and it was all he could do to not lose himself right then and there. He buried himself into you once more, hilt deep, and then he could no longer hold himself back. He pounded relentlessly into you, your lips forced to spread wide to take in his entirety again and again as he slammed himself into you, almost animalistically. The sound of skin hitting skin filled the room, Jonghyun’s low groans vibrating in your ear. “Fuck, you’re so tight,” he murmured as he sank himself deep into you, pulling almost all the way out before burying himself down to the hilt. You dug your heels into the small of his back, forcing him impossibly deeper into you and drawing out a deep groan from him as he fucked you against the wall. Your back rubbed against the wall each time he thrusted into you, adding an edge of pain that only served to amplify your pleasure. When your lips found their way to his sculpted jawline, suckling gently on the spot that you knew made him weak, Jonghyun slammed his hand into the wall behind your head. His head bowed and a low growl emitting from his throat. “Y/N,” he managed, his voice breaking. “Oh god, Y/N.” Your name fell from his lips like a prayer. The coil in the pit of your stomach tightened even more and you found yourself teetering at the edge as he rutted into you.

                “Oh god, oh god, oh GOD!” You cried out as he pounded impossibly faster, moving almost inhumanely quickly. It was a crescendo of sensations, blood roaring in your ears as you approached your high, fingernails digging deep into muscular shoulders, back arching impossibly far, mouth falling open in increasingly loud moans and gasps. A scream ripped out from your chest as he slammed into once more, the coil in your stomach unraveling at a ground shattering magnitude. It was as if you had hit a wall of pleasure; it crashed over you in waves, overwhelming all your other senses as pure euphoria filled your used body, your toes curling and your breasts pressed flush against his chest as you came violently over him. The feeling of you coming completely and utterly undone around him almost made him lose himself, but he stubbornly held on. He continued to thrust shallowly to allow you to ride out your orgasm. Your walls desperately attempted to milk out his orgasm, but he wasn’t finished yet, pulling out as you drifted down from your high.

                Jonghyun walked you over to his desk and bent you over it, ripping off the black tie that had loosened while he was fucking you and using it to bind your hands behind your back so you couldn’t touch him or yourself. You barely registered the feeling of the cool silk tightening around your wrists as he bent you over the desk, still not completely recovered from your first orgasm. This time, he slid himself into you slowly, giving you a second to adjust as he allowed himself to give in to you.

                “Oppa, you feel so good,” you murmured, knowing it was a secret kink of his for you to call him that. You pushed your hips back, forcing him deeper into you and eliciting a dark groan of pleasure for him. “Please.”

                Jonghyun started again, thrusting slowly, pulling out before burying himself down to the hilt. He leaned forward, his lips brushing your ear and he nibbled it gently as he fucked you, sending shivers shooting down your spine. “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N…” Your name fell from his lips like a mantra, the taste of your sweet skin on his tongue and your name in soft pants by your ear. His noises are guttural, the sounds coming from this throat deep and husky. His thrusts are gentler this time, but somehow the pleasure has increased tenfold, igniting each cell in your body once more. He builds his speed slowly, gradually increasing until each of his thrusts shakes the table and you shift slightly so that you don’t lose your balance. “Fuck,” he murmurs again as you let out a mewl of desire, and then he rams himself into you once, hard, and you gasp aloud. He smirks to himself, leaning to grab on edge of the desk to give him more leverage as he pistons into you. 

                The new angle hits deeper into you, euphoria once again thundering through your veins. “So good,” you manage to whimper through the pleasure.

                Jonghyun isn’t satisfied, though, and he yanks the tie bondage back, forcing your back to arch a certain way and granting him access to your g-spot. When he rams into it, black spots of pleasure dance in your vision. The sensation is wholly different from what you’ve felt before, and you are unable to suppress a cry of pure pleasure as he impales you on it once more. Jonghyun smiles at the sound you make, though you can’t see him. He continues to pound into you, hitting that spot again and again, pleasure building up in you as your moans become more and more desperate. “Say my name,” he groans into your ear.

                “I hate you,” you respond, despite the fact that you’re teetering on the edge once again, pure euphoric pleasure about to erupt. His teeth scrape along your shoulder blades, causing stars to erupt in your vision. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.” Jonghyun only fucks you harder, and then you’ve fallen off the edge again, white clouding your vision as pleasure explodes in your center and weaves its way throughout your entire body, causing your body to writhe under him.

                “Jonghyun.”  You gasp his name as the pleasure overcomes all your other senses, numbing you to all other sensations. Your second orgasm is much stronger than your first, your body quaking uncontrollably in response to his. “Jonghyun, Jonghyun, Jonghyun.”

                He pulls out, unties your hands with a quick tug, and turns you around in a quick movement, skillfully picking you up once more and slamming you back down on him so that you are in the same position you began in, you chest pressed against his. You sigh his name into his ear once more, and from the way his hips stutter, the way his breath catches in his throat, you know it's enough. He pauses, body taught like a bow, and he cums with a shuddering groan, his head falling down to the crook of your neck, sweaty forehead pressed against the sensitive skin as his moans your name in your collarbone. The sound of his shallow pants fills your ears. “Y/N,” he whispers as his hot seed spills into you, burning. You run your fingers through his soft hair soothingly as he thrusts shallowly into you to ride out his orgasm and he bites your shoulder as he finishes.

                The room is silent except for the sound of your combined heavy breaths, the rooms filled with the smell of sex and arousal and the feeling of Jonghyun's warmth radiating around you. He sets you down on the table, still inside. You weakly lift your hand to push him off but he catches your arm by the wrist.

               “Wait…just…" He swallows with difficulty, closing his eyes. "wait a minute,” he murmurs into your throat.

                Your hand tangles back into his midnight black hair, stroking gently as he leans against you. "Ok," you say after a moment. The world falls down around you and all that is left his the feeling, the _warmth_ of Jonghyun's body curved fully around yours. Hot skin flush against hot skin. Your hearts beat in unison.  

                After what seemed like eternity but couldn’t be long enough, he pulls out. You feel hollow without him.

The two of you redress in a comfortable silence and you walk over to the wall, sliding back down against it until you are sitting on the ground, knees drawn up to your chest, leaning back against it for support. After a moment, Jonghyun walks over next to you and slides down as well, his shoulder touching yours. The two of you stare at the hundreds of papers scattered around the floor as a result of your.... _reunion._

“I’m sorry,” he says finally, after a moment of silence. “I did it because...I...." he shook his head, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. "I blocked you out of my life because I felt I was a failure." His voice cracked, and a single tear trailed down one cheek from a closed eye. You leaned over and kissed it off. Jonghyun smiled weakly in response. "Nu’est has lost almost all of its fanbase, and it’s because I failed as a leader. I didn’t want to drag the best thing I had in my life down with me.” He swallowed. “I’m sorry.”

You reached for his hand, intertwining your fingers with his comfortingly, rubbing the pad of your thumb against his much larger hand gently. “I love you. Regardless of failure or success, I will always love you. Taking on the failure of Nu’est is not your job, Jonghyun. It was never your fault, and it never will be.”

Jonghyun’s head fell to his chest. “Thank you.” His voice was low and raspy, raw with emotion. “I missed you…so much. I hope—I hope that you can still take me back after what I did. I love you, Y/N.”

You tilted your head so that it fell into the crook of his neck, staring at your intertwined fingers.

“Always.”

 


End file.
